A voyage across the Mediterranean on an all-inclusive and pristine Regent Seven Seas cruise ship? Yes please…
Let’s start with a simple statistic: 1 to 1.29. That’s the ratio of staff to guests on the luxurious Regent Seven Seas Splendor. Quietly professional staff are everywhere – and couldn’t be more helpful. As one of the senior Regent team jokes: “All you have to do is hold out your hand and you’ll find a cocktail in it.”
Our six-night luxury cruise from Athens to Rome begins and our conversation overflows with anticipation. The pianist plays Tiny Dancer in the Horizon Lounge, and we sip Champagne and try to recall the Seven Wonders of the Ancient World. Ephesus in Turkey is said to be one of them – as The Temple of Artemis once stood there – and we are booked on to a private tour in the morning.
Beforehand, we were a little anxious about the ‘excursions’, and had visions of being herded like cattle around packed tourist sites. But of course, this is a six-star Regent cruise, and it isn’t like that at all. Meeting in the main ballroom first thing, after a heartening breakfast, there are 15 different shore excursions, most of which are part of the all-inclusive package. These are all rated according to how physically difficult they are, ensuring there are no exhausting surprises.
We disembark and are whisked to the site in an air-conditioned minibus with minimum fuss. Our private tour is with only a handful of curious-minded fellow guests from the UK, America and Australia.
We stand and gaze at the Library of Celsus, which once held thousands of scrolls (but also – according to our guide – featured a ‘secret’ underground tunnel to the local brothel); and the Great Theatre, which could seat more than 25,000 people at its peak. Afterwards, we fi nd a quiet spot to sip Turkish coffee and scroll through our photographs of delicate stonemasonry from the 10th century BC… before uploading our favourites to the family WhatsApp group.
Sailing on, we feel the world is being moved just for us. In the Horizon Lounge (again) we marvel at how the staff place the little square napkins at the same angle, with the Regent logo facing towards us every time. Each night we come up with something new that we can’t believe about the ship. How come the water in the shower is always hot and the water pressure consistent? How come the corridors are silent and there are only a handful of people relaxing on the sun loungers, or taking (high) tea on Deck 11? We know the Splendor is full, but where is everyone? Apparently, it’s down to the design of the ship. More space is allowed per person than on any other cruise liner. There are no crowds, no queues, and there’s no need to ‘reserve’ a good spot by the pool.
And so, to the food… Breakfast choices are bountiful, ranging from starting the day with sangria and frittatas (bit early for us) to custom omelettes, freshly made to your taste.
Room service is 24-hours but why bother with that when you have the choice at lunchtime between the Pool Grill, La Veranda (overlooking the stern of the ship on a gorgeously wide balcony) and Prime 7, a high-end steakhouse.
In the evenings you can choose between the two main dining rooms and three speciality restaurants: Pacific Rim (Asian fusion); Chartreuse (French gastronomic) and the aforementioned Prime 7. The Asian and French restaurants are superb and turn out to be our favourites. The lobster, king prawns, seafood and delicate cuts of meat are all washed down with cocktails, fine wines and obviously lots and lots of sparkling water…
Our next stop is Heraklion, which offers an archaeological museum that contains a remarkable collection of Minoan artefacts, and the chance to visit the Palace of Knossos, believed to be Europe’s oldest city.
Day four is spent at sea. After a quite frankly heroic workout in the gym – running flat-out on a treadmill staring out on to the Mediterranean as the ground sways gently beneath you is a revelation – we venture to Brunch. This only happens if you have a ‘sea day’ on a Sunday, so we are lucky to witness this clear favourite of an event among our fellow experienced cruisers. Waiting staff swoop around the room offering sangria, Bloody Marys, Champagne and just about anything else that will start the day off with a kick. Meanwhile the food choices range from full English, sumptuous sushi, and freshly carved slices of beef right through to a chocolate fountain and marshmallows.
We settle into a routine at night that goes something like this: quiet glass of something cold in the suite; followed by a live cocktail pianist and some fizz in the Observation Lounge at the bow of the ship. Then on to dinner and then a choice… after-dinner dancing, karaoke, a show, or perhaps some magic and comedy. The Best of Abba Dance Party right in the heart of the ship was ridiculous fun, with the on-board singers and dancers (and guests of a variety of ages) giving it their all.
Of course, there is also so much more on board that you – sort of – take for granted: boutiques, the Casino, the Spa and Wellness centre, the pool and Jacuzzis; numerous sports to enjoy such as Pickleball and Shuffle Golf; activities such a Team Trivia and Mah Jong; and essentials such as a medical centre with 24-hour medical assistance.
And so on to Catania, a vibrant city on the eastern coast of Sicily. Mount Etna looms actively over this entire area and we head into beautiful Taormina, the main location of the second series of Sky Atlantic’s The White Lotus. Emboldened by Pistachio Granita and to-die-for coffee, we wander in the bustling streets, noting the iconic ‘Moor head’ vases on the balconies, representing the impossible love of a doomed young couple.
Our last stop ahead of Rome is Salerno in Italy, and the Roman town of Herculaneum, which was buried after an eruption of Mount Vesuvius in 79AD. Like Pompeii, Herculaneum is famous as one of the few ancient cities to be preserved nearly intact. Here we find ancient versions of fast-food outlets, the much-anticipated bath houses and the most beautiful and vibrant frescoes and mosaics.
Going to and from these locations in a luxurious cruise liner such as the RSS Splendor needs to be experienced. But ultimately it is the staff that make the holiday. Their seamless devotion to detail makes you feel that you have been picked out for some kind of special attention.
During the trip we go through three distinct phases: this is extraordinary; I am getting used to this; and please don’t make me leave.
